Billy No Mates!

Ok, it seems to me that one thing I have learnt about myself this week is that I am either very lazy or very busy. The ambition to post a daily blog has fallen at the first hurdle and is probably in need of being put-down. Perhaps a weekly or a 'when I get round to it' approach would be a far more achievable aim. I suppose that this will allow me to collate a number of facts and hopefully separate the wheat from the chaff, however, I doubt it.

I always like a good historical fact, as well as an interesting language fact. I was therefore very pleased by this little nugget. Apparently, in the Elizabethan days, due to people suffering from pock-ridden skin, the women would spread beeswax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told ‘mind your own beeswax.’ Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term ‘crack a smile.’ Also, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt, and therefore, the expression ‘losing face.’ A 3-in-1 facto-mondo!

After chatting with my Dad about starting this blog he furnished me with this gem of a fact about how the Watford Gap got its name. It is said (according to my Dad) that at the time of its being built, the M1 was laid from both ends and was to meet in the middle (somewhere in Watford). As the project came to an end and the two ends were to be connected it became apparent that the two sets of surveyors had misjudged by about 6 inches. The 6 inch misjudgement held no bearing over the function of the road as it was connected regardless. However, neither surveyor would admit to fault and the point at which it occurred became known as the Watford Gap. I must state that I have not found a shred of evidence on the web to support this, but even so, it sounds a good enough yarn to spin at the pub.

I was reminiscing with a colleague about things that you used to say as kids. It turned out that we both remember the phrase ‘mmm… Billy!’ This was said in a sarcastic manner whilst patting your chin with your hand. It could also be said as ‘Billy, chin-chin!’ This would be used when trying to imply that some

one was telling a big fat lie. The more I thought about it, I wondered, what had Billy done to deserve to be tarnished with the lying brush? His fate, it seems, only got worse as he seems to have inspired a further phrase. ‘Billy No Mates!’ I suppose that the lesson to be learned from all this is do not tell lies or else you’ll end up with no mates!

the blog begins! an introduction...

So, this is to be my blog. For a long time I have thought it would be a good idea to keep some sort of diary or journal, therefore, encouraging myself to look back over the days events and record any interesting events or thoughts that I may have had. I often find myself philosophising about a subject whilst I am drunk, like I am some sort of expect on the matter, then suddenly realise that prior to that moment I had never really considered that particular subject at all and quite simply know naff all about it. This quite often results in a situation where I go on to talk a load of utter nonsense or suggest that I believe things that a little more considered thought I would not. I guess that this is where the blog comes in.

I have never really paid much heed to the world of blogging, as a result I don't really know what I am doing or how this blog will progress in this form (if it even progresses at all). I have given my blog the title of 'what i learnt today'. This is based on the old saying 'you learn something new every day'. By writing this blog every day I hope to be able to look back over the days events and sincerely say that I have actually learnt something new and not just added to the pile of days that may as well of not happened!

As yet I have decided to have any filters on the subject matter of what it is I may have learnt that day, for the time being I shall just 'roll with it' and see what sense (if any) comes out of my mind and spilling onto the page. I am not suggesting that I am about to start surfing the web all day everyday day in some sort of daily quest for useless knowledge, even if it does sound like something that I would actually enjoy doing. I prefer a much more organic approach, analysing anything from the absurd to the mundane, from the serious to the hilarious and therefore giving myself access to a considered opinion on a subject should it ever come up in conversation.

With the introduction pretty much covered I will end this first entry to my blog with what I learnt today. As it happened, I was actually surfing the web for useless facts to pass the time at work. Apparently scientists have conducted (very important) tests on male monkeys and discovered that they are willing to give up their juice in the form of a trade for the opportunity to ogle at photos of female monkey bottoms! What benefit I will gain in the future from knowing this, I do not know. However, if I am am ever planning on getting stranded in a jungle I shall be sure to take a collection of Hot-Monkey-Totty-Bottie photos with me, just in case I need some juice!